Besides Blue

You know there’s probably nothing worse than to be around a person who is ‘holier than thou,’ or intolerant, hypocritical, or judgmental. But I find myself too often fitting one or more of these descriptions when ‘bad words’ are used around me. I’m sorry. I need help. Please forgive me. I am trying to get better. Lol

Really, this is a touchy subject for me. And I struggled writing this blog. But I just want to be open and transparent….Don’t ‘turn the air blue’ on me. Lol.

Somehow in growing up my parents thought it was important to speak ‘properly.’ Not just without profanity but also to speak ‘proper english.’ No green verbs. No bad grammar. Not even real dialect—I think this was a little extreme. Lol. Anyway, yeah, they were sticklers to the ‘no obscenity’ rule. And well of course they led by example.

But now that I’m an adult I wonder sometimes who really cares whether I use ‘bad words?’ Is it really a big deal? At this point, no doubt, if I were to just ‘let loose’ my parents would be horrified. Not to mention my church folk. That might be grounds for disfellowship. Or my coworkers? They may not care….Only the people who are so careful about what they say really care about others who don’t, no? Which means nine times out of ten, I have the problem! I’m the one who cringes, or wants to slip away from the conversation. Help!

So I was at the train station the other day when someone let one rip. I almost died. I heard a grown man say to a little child who could not be more than 3 year’s old, ‘where the ‘bleep’ did I lose my phone?’ Then he repeated the question about two more times. Loudly. In my mind I was like ‘what?’ He didn’t just say that to the little girl?! But he did. Very easily without raising any noticeable eyebrows….

Today I think to myself, ‘am I not a hypocrite?’ Aren’t there greater ‘evils’ of which I am guilty? Truth be told I had a very colorful vocabulary back in ‘the day.’ One day I got into a verbal exchange with a friend. When it was all said and done the friend had to explain to their parent who overheard part of the conversation that I wasn’t cursing them it must have been the dogs that were barking loudly in the neighborhood. Yeah right!

It was in my young adult life that I decided, hey, let me revert to what I was taught. It took me a while but then it became easier. Even easier once my friends changed. I also felt slightly consoled when a friend told me, don’t feel bad if you slip once in a while because everyone uses ‘bad words’ it’s just that some may not say them out loud! Lol. Hard to refute.

Regardless, I feel the urge to make an effort to prepare my children for the oncoming reality that sometimes the ‘air does turn blue,’ to no fault of theirs. Sometimes in casual conversations. Sometimes in heated ones as well. Sometimes in the workplace. Sometimes on the play field. Sometimes in movies. Sometimes when you don’t want to hear or sometimes when you really don’t want to say it. Lol. Love it or not it happens. People do express themselves in different ways. So be mindful.

At the end of the day, it isn’t my job to try and force others to speak one way or the other. Rather, it’s often worth considering not just what a person is saying but also what they really mean, what is of value in the communication and am I receiving the correct message? Even when the ‘preponderance of verbiage’ around me reflects what I was not taught, I can smile, knowing that there are several other colors I can choose ‘besides blue.’ 🙂